autumnA Special Day

To many people there is a day that has resonance; a date when things in their personal history seem to happen.

I have clients who share a birthday with a parent or relative. For others it’s the “season” of a sign when things seem to percolate. Perhaps “Scorpio” season is particularly charged for you or someone you know.

This day is my special day, although some years it’s quiet. Regardless it brings up powerful events when life changed. This year I expect introspection (always a possibility when the Sun is in the sign of Scorpio).

Why does 11/17 create a trigger to reflect for me?

First reason: my grandfather died on this day when I was 21 years old. He was an influential figure in my life and not in entirely positive ways. I had pulled away from him during my judgmental youth; I hated the way he drank and his prejudiced statements.

Yet when I saw his hands crossed over his breast at the open wake, I could not hold back my hot tears. His large, square hands had played the piano when we danced as children. His fingernails wore the yellow patina from Tareyton cigarettes, but it was the Old Grandad bourbon that gave him the enlarged heart and cirrhosis.

In those days, even though AA had been around for decades, many medical people had no sympathy for alcoholics and neither had I. But the love I had for him as a child was still there.

Ironically, when a wall of resistance is built we are subject to attack. I had to learn to walk in his shoes and understand why he had that disease, in order to really know myself. 10 years later to the day, my nephew was born. It symbolized to me a new chapter for my family. Within a couple of weeks I received my finalized divorce papers. I noted it went through on 11/17, the same date as my nephew’s entrance to the world. Those events have given me a special appreciation for this day.

11 + 17 distills down to a “1” in numerology, signaling a fresh start.

I know that it’s unlikely any of you take note of this date in the same way, but I invite you to consider approaching your day with reverence. Actually, when you wake up in the morning with that point of view, it might radically change your day.

You can certainly recognize the new beginning quality, coupled with endings. Scorpio reminds us that we cannot begin anything without moving on from something else. The need to recognize this is powerful— what is to be born and what is to die?

Although it’s not always appropriate to articulate what has passed when you are celebrating what has begun, it is valuable for you to acknowledge this struggle to yourself.

Often we overlook this, which leaves us vulnerable for an upset. Give yourself the opportunity to fully explore any grief, resistance or prejudgment. When you know what might trip you up, you are more able to move past it with grace.

This way when you are confronted with any kind of emotional quicksand, you are prepared to deal with it.