elderlywalkingNot surprisingly, the flutter of calls I’ve had this week are all about relationships. I say this all the time in my practice: “relationships are the hardest thing we do here on Earth.” That may be my POV because of my personal lens, which is supported by the clients I attract, but that to me, is our true work in this lifetime.

Freud is famous for the theory that Love & Work is what drives a person, and yet there is no direct reference to this in his writings. He does refer to the myths: Eros (Love) and Ananke (Focus/Necessity) as the foundations of society.

As an astrologer, the two topics my clients frequently propose are career and relationship. Let’s face it, most of our careers are contingent on relationships: boss, clients, co-workers and our spouse/family’s reaction to our work…. then of course, there’s the relationship you have with that person in the mirror. If you’re in conflict with yourself, no person in your life is going to make it right.

So the first lesson is an old one. It is throughout the Old and New Testament of the Bible: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The word “neighbor” refers to whoever is next to you- at the table, your community or another country on the planet. Buddha said: “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”  So the face in the mirror is the root of your relationship with anyone else you bring into your life.

Newman-WoodwardPaul Newman and Joanne Woodward have classic horoscopes for a dream couple- yet everyone encounters bumps in communication, which is why I love this photograph.

As Pluto turns direct today right before the coming Autumn Equinox, we anticipate the Libra cycle that speaks to the see-saw of compromise in relating. Who are the people around you in your everyday life, whether business, familial or romantic? If you feel supported, then it might be time to stretch a bit farther and take advantage of your loyal cheering section.

If however, you are in relationship with someone who violates your sense of safety, then this is a time to gather the strength you need to cleave. If you feel unheard or disrespected, it may be time to bring in an impartial third party to mediate for common ground. The passage of Pluto triggers a sense of mortality and a visceral need to transform at all costs- it’s survival instincts. Even if you don’t stir the pot, you can sense the rumblings and will have to act in time. The ideal is to dive deeper into a relationship that sustains you. If your situation is not going to aim for the ideal, you can cut your losses by moving on. The relationship you seek is not necessarily romantic, but it is about Love.

lauderIn truth, there is nothing more beautiful and sustaining than unconditional love. In my old life I used to work seasonally for the Estee Lauder company and as a result, got a first-hand sense of the family who runs it. Many of them are very hands-on with a strong work ethic and commitment to excellence.

As young Aerin entered the ranks to apprentice, it was clear that she had laser vision goals and a desire to fulfill and sustain the corporate dynasty. She knew who in her family and within the company she wanted to emulate and who she did not. I have no doubt she did receive the support needed to be the successful woman she is today and the canniness to recognize where she was never going to get it.

Many of us learn through hard knocks what relationships are worth our time and those that leave us empty. This can be particularly difficult with a parent, child, spouse, sibling or dear old friend. Yet if your dance partner is not holding balance in your energy field, sooner or later you fall. You cannot hold up a relationship single-handed. The only time this is appropriate is when a young child needs the buttress of a responsible caregiver.

tangoAs Pluto turns direct, responsibility and commitment gain momentum. Hard choices need to be made. It is more than just survival; it is what sows the seeds for new growth and sustainability. With Pluto in Capricorn and Saturn in Scorpio, it is impossible to stay in relationships that do not hold a frame of transformation.

Over the next few months, keep aware of your inner feelings when dealing in relationship; do you feel safe and supported? Are you allowed to stretch and grow? If you lean back or take a risk in the dance, will your partner provide the ballast? ©Cucinell 2013- all rights reserved

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