I have had a weird anxiety the past couple of weeks and on waking today I finally have understood why. Of course! Saturn in Libra. I will be writing about the historical and general forecast later on, but right now it’s time for personal reflections.

Saturn travels around the Sun in an orbit of 28-30 years. So once you’ve lived long enough, you re-visit that area of your life to see how well you’ve learned your responsibilities and fears of it. When I think back to what was going on in autumn 1980…

The first thing I remember is John Lennon was killed. Saturn (limitation) was transiting his Mars (desire, drive) and that could be a whole article. But I’m not going to detach and write about Lennon. What I’m struck by is my reaction to his death. At the time I remember thinking: “this is NYC. Bad things happen to good people here. It’s a fact of life.” Remember, this was when the city was crawling out of bankruptcy. Central Park was full of broken concrete and smashed benches. People didn’t stroll in Union Square unless they were looking for drugs. Graffiti was everywhere. Times Square was not Disneyland.

Meanwhile my boyfriend was in loud and painful mourning. I couldn’t connect to it. I was hardening a shell around me because everything hurt so much. I lived in the city but in many ways it felt like a prison. It wasn’t until years later I could feel clearly. I then realized the city wasn’t a prison, the prison had been the relationships I created. Once I changed my reactions to them, my love affair with NYC began…

The thumbnail sketch: I was a young woman torn between my love for my father (a staunch Roman Catholic) and my boyfriend (an angry artist). They both wanted me to choose. With Saturn in Libra, it’s all about partnerships. For me it was a double-whammy, because it was traveling through my 7th house (significant relationship). I was hit with a growing need to create contractual partnership. My boyfriend was too, but his transits were hitting different places, for him it was about his gallery and its collectors.

The key to understanding your Saturn transits, is knowing what beliefs you came in with about responsibility, structure and fears. With Saturn in Libra, you will be building contracts in the Venusian realm: specifically love and/or money. If you’re born with challenges to Saturn and Venus (or they’re enmeshed) then you’re in for 3 years of karmic lessons.

I got married for all the wrong reasons. It all got a whole lot worse before it got better. When did it get better? When I got out of the marriage

I was born with Saturn/Venus connections that cause most astrologers to blanch. My lessons in the early ’80s were life-changing. My ex-husband was a great teacher, and I’m not talking about watercolor. As I enter this new journey of Saturn in Libra, I am ready to quell the anxiety. I’m going to get a box of tissues and put on Double Fantasy.